OMfg i was in starbucks and i saw this girl with pink hair and a shirt with an inverted cross on it and i hissed “hipster blogger” and she hissed back because she was actually a snake haha what’s a SNAKe doing in star bucks? i only have 60 followes
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”
Why does this not have any notes?
lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”
“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”
“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”
if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case
finding out the heights of your internet friends is always the weirdest thing